GROOM’S JOURNAL

A Newlywed Shares His Experience

By Omar Scott

There we stood on New Year’s Day 2003—me with my single life flashing before my eyes and her wondering why we were standing in the middle of our alma mater’s campus on such a dreary, rainy day.

I launched into a brief history of our relationship; she giggled. I crouched down on one knee, pulled out a ring and asked her to spend the rest of her life with me. She gasped, cried tears of joy and said, “Yes.” I breathed a sigh of relief—little did I know that the proposal was the easy part.

Within a couple months of our engagement, my fiancée and I decided to share the house I had been living in alone for about three years. Those first couple days were by far the most challenging. Combining all the things that I had accumulated and had developed attachments to, with all of her stuff was a difficult task.

This was our first real opportunity to make decisions as a couple. It wasn’t pretty. We fought long and hard about trivial things like whose microwave, iron and ironing board to use, and not-so-trivial things like closet space and whether or not my Superfly movie poster was appropriate living room art. Once we sat down and rationally discussed everything, we were able to make sensible decisions. Sadly, the Superfly poster is still looking for a wall to call home.

In August 2003, we made our way to Tara’s hometown, Boston, for an engagement party my in-laws threw for us. Originally, we didn’t want to have an engagement party but we realized that when people want to do something for you, you really can’t stand in their way. We went and had a great time. Of course, an engagement party means gifts and gifts means registering.

While we were in Boston, Tara and I looked over her choices for invitations. As usual, I liked the simple ones and she liked the elaborate ones. By this point, we were learning the art of compromise and came to a decision that ensured no grudges were held.
Planning the honeymoon was fun. We love to travel and both wanted to visit someplace warm where neither of us had been. At first I was leaning toward Belize. Then I read about the Costa Rican wildlife and was sold. With that job completed, I turned to compiling songs for our wedding favors—a CD of some songs that describe how we feel about each other.

After the engagement party, things were fairly quiet on the wedding front. My older brother and I went tuxedo shopping. What a simple process that was! I wondered if my fiancée had it that easy when she went looking for a dress. Somehow I doubt it.
A mere 60 days before the wedding, the invitations went out. At this point I was really excited. It was going to really happen. I was really getting married. I remember coming home from work and picking up the mail a few days after the invites were sent out. When I pulled the mail out of my box that day, four RSVPs fell out. Not only was I really getting married, but people were really going to attend.

Over the next few weeks, invitations poured in from every corner of our invited universe. It looked like the B list would have to be discarded. Even some of the Not-expected-to-attend guests planned to attend. It was really overwhelming.

With that taken care of, we turned our attention to tying up loose ends. We bought gifts for our attendants, picked out wedding rings, made last minute travel arrangements and totaled up the final guest count. After a lot of breath holding, we came in under our anticipated guest count. The bridal shower and bachelorette party were held. The bachelor party was planned and all the final details came into focus.

The old cliché that “the trip is half the fun” rang true in my case. The year and two months between my engagement and wedding day has been one of the most fun and interesting times in my life. I’ve learned a lot about my fiancée and myself in that period. I’m most looking forward to is spending the rest of my life with my wife. If the planning process told me anything it’s that it’s going to be a great ride.

Omar Scott is a 29-year-old Washington Post advertising sales representative. He, his wife, Tara Scott, their cocker spaniel, Mace, and fish, Red, make their home in Washington, D.C.